Friday, March 13, 2009

It's Music To My Ears

So what makes a song 'catchy'? We aren't exactly living in the Sinatra era, where simple lyrics such as: "I love you... Just the way you look tonight" doesn't appeal to listeners anymore. Why is that? There is something beautiful behind those lyrics. It's short, sweet, and guaranteed to get an "aww" response from any woman. Is it just me or are songs like this just lost in the sea of pop culture?

"I love you...Just the way you look tonight"doesn't cut it anymore. Nowadays in music, it seems as though that simple statement just can't pass. Instead, these words are corrupted by cheesy lyrics explaining everything a person could love about a person, ranging from the truly heartfelt lyrics, to the nasty, "did they just say that?" lyrics. I have to admit that I'm quite the hypocrite, because I've found myself getting drawn to these teeny bopper beats. But as I'm sitting there, jamming to these new stars, I can't help myself catch these ridiculous lyrics! There's millions of undiscovered talent out there, and these people are making millions off of retarded lyrics. All I'm asking for is a catchy song with some originality, not something you wrote on the toilet or coming home from being hammered.

Originality is dead in the music industry. Once we've heard one song, there's another artist coming up with the same concept and a similar beat. Here are a few 'themes' I've discovered in the new music era:

Fill in the Empty Space

Soulja Boy 'Kiss Me Thru The Phone'
She call my phone like da(20x)
We on da phone like da(20x)
We takin pics like da(20x)
She dial my numba like da(10x)
678 triple 9 8212

Britney Spears 'If U Seek Amy'
I can’t get her out of my brain
I just wanna go to the party she gon’ go
Can somebody take me home?
Ha ha he he ha ha ho

Pay attention to the emphasized 'sounds' in both Britney Spears and Soulja Boy's lyrics. It seems as though a lot of music in this day and age run out of lyrics and just put anything to fill the void. Let me tell you something, if I was ever in a conversation with someone and just ran out of things to say, I don't think I would bust out with "da da da da da da da da". That's how people end up in mental institutions. In the case of running out of material in a conversation, I just sit back, and think about another topic to discuss. These artists should seriously consider doing that. It's not that hard!
The Men Bashing Songs
Jazmine Sullivan 'Bust Your Windows'
I bust the windows out your car
And though it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll always have these ugly scars
But right now I don't care about that part.

Carrie Underwood 'Before He Cheats'
I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

First and foremost, I would like to thank these ladies for scaring men from the dating scene. Great job! I understand that when this happens to someone, yes, internally, they feel like doing this, that, and all the above. But keep it to yourself... Because there's one word that sums up these ladies lyrics: psycho.
Did They Seriously Say That?

Kanye West 'Heartless'
How could you be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out a side of me that I dont know...

Nickelback 'Something in Your Mouth'
And tease them all by sucking on your thumb
Your so much cooler when you never pull it out
Cuz you look so much cuter with something in your mouth

Dr. Evil? Are you serious? It couldn't even be "freakin' evil"? I have to say that I do love Kanye West's music. In the beginning of his song Heartless, I have to admit that the lyrics were quite good. You can actually feel pity for this man whose heart was torn by a "woman so heartless". But then he kills the song by putting Dr. Evil in the mix; I just don't understand it. And Nickelback's song... I think the song will sound cuter with a sock put in his mouth.
Just Rockin'!

Kevin Rudolf 'Let it Rock'
Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher
What is this, forgot?
I must now remind you
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Let It Rock

Pink 'So What'
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So what!
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

From my experience, anytime anyone has tried to convince me over and over again that something was going to "rock", it was quite the contrary. And I don't know how "cool" it would be if I saw anyone attempting rock moves. As for these songs... They rock, they rock, they rock.
Someone Was Drunk...
Lady GaGa 'Just Dance'
Wish I could shut my playboy mouth, oh oh oh-oh
How'd I turn my shirt inside out? Inside outright
Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say
And we're all getting hosed tonight, oh oh oh-oh

Jamie Foxx 'Blame it (on the Alcohol)'
Blame it on the goose Got you feeling loose
Blame it on petron Got you in the zone
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol

I don't know about you, but whenever I've been drunk I've never discovered that my shirt was inside out. And whenever anyone does make an ass out of themselves from drinking too much, I don't blame the goose or the patron. I blame it on the idiot that can't handle their alcohol.

So there you have it, the men bashing, random, sexy, rockin', alcoholic, lyrics of our era. What is this world coming to?