Monday, March 30, 2009

Is There a Doctor in the House?

As mentioned in a previous blog, I've been debating whether or not to get surgery done to fix my hyperhidrosis. I've finally come to the conclusion that I want to get this done. I've been weighing the pros and the cons of this surgery, and the pros do indeed outweigh the cons. While there's only a small chance something may backfire, there's a 95% success rate. The 5% drawback includes mild sweating occasionally on the back or face, and most of the people who do actually experience this say that it really doesn't bother them too much.

So let's put this in perspective, a 95% chance of getting rid of the Niagra Falls hands, or a 5% chance of experiencing a mild sweating on my back or face. Surgery, here I come! I think...

What influenced me into finally getting this surgery? Was it the fact that my boyfriend can't get a decent grip on my hand? Or perhaps it's the fact that my pen kept on slipping out of my hand during my last mid term exam. Well, to answer that question, it's both A and B, among a gamut of other reasons. But what really made me pick up the phone and call was an advertisement on the radio, introducing The American Institute of Hyperhidrosis.

After days of debating whether or not I actually wanted to go through with the surgery, I decided to fill out a form for a free consultation. I didn't know what to expect.

Surprisingly, I got a call the very next day (which was comforting). The only thing that irked me a little bit was that the woman called around 1 o'clock, when I specifically put on the application 3 o'clock was the best time to reach me. Of course I missed her call and had to play a game of phone tag with the receptionist. Needless to say, I never got in contact with the original girl that left me that message.

I did manage to talk to another woman who got all my health insurance information, and she assured me that someone would get back to me with precise details of the surgery, followed by the actual call from the doctor the very next day. A week has gone by and I still have not spoken to anyone about the surgery. It has been a constant juggling game between the receptionist and myself.

To make my blood boil further, I received an e-mail that was extremely unprofessional and random. Here's an exact replica of the e-mail:

(Phone Number)
Call for an appointment. The surgery works great.

"The surgery works great." Are you serious? The surgery works great? I've been trying to get in contact with these people for a week and I get an e-mail with no Dear, no sincerely so and so. Who the hell sent me this? What professional institute sends out letters like this? There are people who are jobless, and I have some idiot, who has a job, who is getting paid, to send out letters like this.

Now I'm really debating whether or not to get the surgery done from this place. If the receptionist sends out e-mails like this, I can't even imagine how the surgery will go.

(Cut here)
Bad news, I ran out of sutures. But on a lighter note, the surgery works great!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Customer's Always Right

Being a member of the retail world, we have a saying: "The customer is always right." Unfortunately, I'm going to rebel against that statement and say: "No... The customer is not always right!"

Every job has its ups and downs. One of the perks is that I only get to work part time and practically get to manage my own schedule. On the other hand, we're working for minimum wage and working for some pretty rude characters. I'm not saying it's not my job to make the customer happy. It is in fact my job to make sure that the customer has a "happy experience". But I've found that working in the world of retail, some people make it so hard. Until I get a real degree and get out of school, I'm stuck dealing with the world of retail, so why not just make this mediocre job an interesting blog post by listing a few of these annoying characters?

  • Unpleasant customers: Anyone working in any job, will tell you that it's not an enjoyable experience working with irritable people. Nothing compares to the fury of a grumpy customer. At Hollister, I admit, some of the clothes are teeny tiny. The largest size we have in women's is an 11 (which feels like an 8 or 9 in regular jeans). One woman came up to me, her face bright red, her arms shaking in madness, waving these jeans in the air. To begin with, she tapped my shoulder (or I should say finger punched), almost putting a dent in my shoulder blade and said: "EXCUSE ME. I'm a size 11, and I know I'm a size 11. These jeans don't fit. Do you have a larger size?" Being a trustworthy retail worker, going by the code: "The customer is always right", I put on a smile, and explained to the woman that our largest size in women's jeans is size 11. I also explained to her that the sizes do run smaller in this store, but I would be more than happy to go in the back and find her similar jeans that may fit better. I don't know what part of that explanation translated into: "you're fat", but she accused me of calling her a whale, threw the jeans at me, and stormed out the store.

  • The Tattle Tale: These characters, I absolutely ADORE! These are the people determined to get you fired, no matter what it takes. Fortunately, I've only had to deal with two of these characters. The woman that stands out in my mind, made a big deal about a scarf she wanted to hold until the day after(a scarf... In Miami... ). Unfortunately, Hollister does not hold any items. I tried to explain this to her and she refused to listen to me. Going on a scarf rampage, she asked for my name and asked to speak to a a manager. Having absolutely no worries, I gave her my name and took her to the manager myself. Of course... when the manager explained the same exact spiel I did to the woman, she made a whole scene and stormed out the store. I guess she didn't like the idea of her not being right.

  • The "That's Their Job" People: These are the people that think it's ok to totally screw up the displays and knock down articles of clothing from hangers with the assurance that: "they'll clean it up. It's their job!" I was working one day, and I had just finished neatly organizing a display case, when a group of women (seeing that I had just done this), started browsing through the clothes and started throwing them all over the display table. At least have the common decency to mess up the table when I'm gone, not while I'm standing there.

  • The Fitting Room Slobs: These are the customers that try on a mountain of clothing and just leave it in the room. Come on... I'm standing right outside the door, you can't hand me the clothes that you've just tried on?

  • The Indecisive Customer: These are the people that typically have a large amount of clothing to buy, the natural born shop aholics, that decide at the last minute they want to check out the cute little top in the corner over there. Meanwhile, there's a line of customers out the door, and you still have this pile of clothing on the counter, and some clueless person roaming around the store taking a half an hour to make up their mind.

  • Managers Who Don't Lift A Finger: I understand that managers have their job to do, and the minimum waged retail workers have their job, but from what I've seen from some managers, their hard earned cashed is earned through chatting, flirting with the customers, and calling friends in the back room. When the days are busy, somehow they disappear, and the retail workers have to juggle the retail jungle by themselves. Fair? I think not...

There are some retail workers out there that do not know what they're doing and are lazy, but not all of them are. If you see someone trying to help you as much as they can, don't take it for granted. As much as people like to believe: "the customer is always right", in reality, that's not always the case.

Friday, March 20, 2009

10 Things I Hate About Shoes

People often say that the hair is the icing on the cake in a person's appearance. I disagree. Believe it or not, I think people can get away with the Mowgli look or even go back in time to the 80s ( just as long as you have the fashion sense to back it up). But nothing makes me cringe more than the sound or appearance of disturbing shoes. I could deal with a mullet, just for the love of God put on a decent pair of nice, clean, matching, simple, shoes. So here it goes, a list from one through ten of my common shoe problems:

  1. Guys wearing sandals with long pants: I don't know when this fashion trend started, but can it please stop? For crying out loud, are you going to the beach or going on a date? I can't help but feel confused when I see this. First I see a nice shirt, some casual jeans, everything is covered up except for a pair of hairy feet. Why? I can understand wearing this mismatching combination when lounging at the house or not really doing anything that day, but out at the mall? I'm hoping that these mismatching faux pas are going to the mall to buy a new pair of shoes, because that sense of fashion just doesn't mix.
  2. Loud Sandals: In this case, I understand that the "flopping" sound cannot be helped. I have a pair of these and it's impossible to shut them up. The light flopping I can take, but it's the shoes that sound like a broom is being beaten over a desk that I can't stand. These are normally caused by large platform sandals that girls wear. Get lighter sandals! You're tugging around huge logs on your feet, no wonder it sounds like a drum session.
  3. Overly High Stilettos: I understand that some girls want to "appear" taller, just like some girls want to appear to have a larger chest, a smaller waist, and inch long eyelashes (yikes), but there's nothing wrong with a "little" heel. I always find it awkward when I see a girl dressed nicely, and then all of a sudden I see her with a pair of stilts. Meanwhile, they're stumbling around trying to act sexy in seven inch heels.
  4. Stinky Shoes: Have you ever been in the situation where you're sitting in class or at the office, when all of a sudden you get a whiff of something that smells like road kill? Well, that's happened to me plenty of times. This typically happens with open toed shoes. Closed toed shoes are okay, because I don't have to smell them. It's the open toed ones you really have to watch out for. Here's some advice... Feet sometimes sweat,and sometimes they get wet from puddles. Whenever feet get wet, bacteria starts to grow inside the shoe. Since you're walking in them all day, and they don't have any room to breathe, the bacteria locks in and voila, that is when the smell comes. It's good to retire a pair of shoes and let them air out. Switch shoes every now and then. And in between breathing breaks, wash them out and spray them with Lysol. Once everything is sanitized, let them air dry in the sun. This will usually get the smell out.
  5. Dirty Shoes: There's nothing worse than a pair of white shoes that turn grey with dirt and filth.
  6. The War Shoes: These are the shoes that people refuse to give away. It's normally a favorite pair that has survived many heartbreaks and experiences with the owner for a couple of years. You know the ones... After years of walking in these shoes, they slowly but surely start to tear away. They're hanging by a single strap, or have barely survived through dog catastrophes. there comes a time in everyone's life when you just have to let go and toss the shoes in the trash. I have a friend that has a pair of these "war shoes" that she has had for over three years. She superglued/stapled/and taped these shoes to the best of her ability. But the mending won't fix the areas of cat scratches and strange stains. So I told her to let the shoes go... Unfortunately, it's a hard process for some people.
  7. Tuxedo Shoes for WOMEN: Here's the story... I was in jury duty, doing some people watching (I refused to watch the Julia Robert's movie on the tv), when all of a sudden a girl sat next to me. At first, naturally I looked at her and said to myself: "wow, this girl is really dressed nice. I love her outfit!" when all of a sudden I looked to her feet and stared in horror at these hideous tuxedo heels. Luckily, I was one of the first group of people called into the jury room.
  8. The New Trendy Shoes: There's one thing that has been really irking me recently and that's people trying to keep up with shoe trends. So often we (mainly girls) are influenced by shows like What Not to Wear and Sex in the City, that they try mimicking these shoe trends. These shoes come in all different colors, stripes, shapes, designs. It drives me crazy to see a girl wearing a leopard print dress with shiny red shoes. Come on! Are you telling me leopards wear shiny red heels in the jungle?
  9. Beaded Disasters: These are the gaudy shoes that I've seen adorned with all kinds of glittering gems, beads, you name it. There's something about jewelry on a foot that just doesn't sound appealing to me.
  10. Tight Shoes on Chubby Toes: There's something about Chicken Mcnugget toes jammed inside a nice pair of stilettos that I just don't understand. I know it's hard to give up the shoes you've been eyeing for a month because they didn't have your size, but that doesn't mean to get a smaller size! I've seen this so many times, where big feet are cramped inside this tiny little shoe. That's like trying to squeze a picture inside a picture frame. If it doesn't fit, there's going to be a crease there, a fold there, and just one big mess.

There's the icing on the cake. Although hair is an important factor in the fashion equation, shoes can really be the hit or miss of a person's wardrobe. You can have your opinion of what really tops an outfit, but I'd rather walk in my own shoes and keep mine.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Theirz Someting Rong Here

Ah, yes. Spring break is here. Classes are out for a whole week. While the majority of the population is out on exotic vacations with their best friends Johnny Walker and Sailor Jerry, I'm at home reading novels and trying to catch up with an unlimited amount of research papers. While most girls are debating about what shade of pink earings go better with their new tunic top, I'm sitting here wondering how some people ended up in college. Normal? Probably not. But what can I say? I'm a dork at heart and even on vacation, literature and grammar sound appealing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect when it comes to grammar, especially when my mind is in that "zone" and I just want to throw information out there without worrying about every period and proper punctuation. It's more of a careless act. However, just before the break, I couldn't help but note on a fellow classmate's paper a certain grammatical error that I've seen a lot in my college years. You'd think after elementary school, people would know the difference between a contraction and their thumb.

I actually didn't start thinking about these grammatical clashes until I read this one blog. This blog was the muse to my newest post. I thought it would be entertaining to add on to the loose vs. lose mishaps. But my little annoyance is with certain contraction words.

They're VS. Their VS. There

They're: This is what we call a contraction. These are our friends. You know why? They shorten words and make life easier! They're is made up of the words "they" and "are. So here's a simple rule, any moment you want to say: "they are doing something", use the word they're, not their or there for crying out loud! Here are some examples:

  • They're in some serious need of some schooling.
  • They're not going to get a diploma if they can't spell (which apparently is a total lie).

Their: This form indicates possession of something, such as: their ticket, their boyfriend, their dog, or their horrible grammar. If it doesn't indicate possession, then please refrain from using this form of their.

There: This is the most common form of there I always see in place of their and they're. This talks about location, whether it's concrete, as in: "over there by the car", or more abstract, such as: "I don't know how they live over there".

You're VS. Your

You're: Again, this is another contraction. The two words that make up this contraction are: "you" and "are".

  • You're lucky that you graduated.
  • You're cute.

Your: This also indicates possession. Whenever you want to say something belongs to you, you use this form of your. Some examples are: your shoe, your diary, your ideas, or your ankle. The list is endless.

There are other mishaps that are common mistakes, but I'll just leave it to my two main peeves. By following these simple guidelines, writing will become second nature, and you won't even have to think about whether he is their or there. In the end, it's just remembering the basics and taking it from there.

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's Music To My Ears

So what makes a song 'catchy'? We aren't exactly living in the Sinatra era, where simple lyrics such as: "I love you... Just the way you look tonight" doesn't appeal to listeners anymore. Why is that? There is something beautiful behind those lyrics. It's short, sweet, and guaranteed to get an "aww" response from any woman. Is it just me or are songs like this just lost in the sea of pop culture?

"I love you...Just the way you look tonight"doesn't cut it anymore. Nowadays in music, it seems as though that simple statement just can't pass. Instead, these words are corrupted by cheesy lyrics explaining everything a person could love about a person, ranging from the truly heartfelt lyrics, to the nasty, "did they just say that?" lyrics. I have to admit that I'm quite the hypocrite, because I've found myself getting drawn to these teeny bopper beats. But as I'm sitting there, jamming to these new stars, I can't help myself catch these ridiculous lyrics! There's millions of undiscovered talent out there, and these people are making millions off of retarded lyrics. All I'm asking for is a catchy song with some originality, not something you wrote on the toilet or coming home from being hammered.

Originality is dead in the music industry. Once we've heard one song, there's another artist coming up with the same concept and a similar beat. Here are a few 'themes' I've discovered in the new music era:

Fill in the Empty Space

Soulja Boy 'Kiss Me Thru The Phone'
She call my phone like da(20x)
We on da phone like da(20x)
We takin pics like da(20x)
She dial my numba like da(10x)
678 triple 9 8212

Britney Spears 'If U Seek Amy'
I can’t get her out of my brain
I just wanna go to the party she gon’ go
Can somebody take me home?
Ha ha he he ha ha ho

Pay attention to the emphasized 'sounds' in both Britney Spears and Soulja Boy's lyrics. It seems as though a lot of music in this day and age run out of lyrics and just put anything to fill the void. Let me tell you something, if I was ever in a conversation with someone and just ran out of things to say, I don't think I would bust out with "da da da da da da da da". That's how people end up in mental institutions. In the case of running out of material in a conversation, I just sit back, and think about another topic to discuss. These artists should seriously consider doing that. It's not that hard!
The Men Bashing Songs
Jazmine Sullivan 'Bust Your Windows'
I bust the windows out your car
And though it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll always have these ugly scars
But right now I don't care about that part.

Carrie Underwood 'Before He Cheats'
I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

First and foremost, I would like to thank these ladies for scaring men from the dating scene. Great job! I understand that when this happens to someone, yes, internally, they feel like doing this, that, and all the above. But keep it to yourself... Because there's one word that sums up these ladies lyrics: psycho.
Did They Seriously Say That?

Kanye West 'Heartless'
How could you be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out a side of me that I dont know...

Nickelback 'Something in Your Mouth'
And tease them all by sucking on your thumb
Your so much cooler when you never pull it out
Cuz you look so much cuter with something in your mouth

Dr. Evil? Are you serious? It couldn't even be "freakin' evil"? I have to say that I do love Kanye West's music. In the beginning of his song Heartless, I have to admit that the lyrics were quite good. You can actually feel pity for this man whose heart was torn by a "woman so heartless". But then he kills the song by putting Dr. Evil in the mix; I just don't understand it. And Nickelback's song... I think the song will sound cuter with a sock put in his mouth.
Just Rockin'!

Kevin Rudolf 'Let it Rock'
Because when I arrive
I, I bring the fire
Make you come alive
I can take you higher
What is this, forgot?
I must now remind you
Let It Rock
Let It Rock
Let It Rock

Pink 'So What'
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So what!
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

From my experience, anytime anyone has tried to convince me over and over again that something was going to "rock", it was quite the contrary. And I don't know how "cool" it would be if I saw anyone attempting rock moves. As for these songs... They rock, they rock, they rock.
Someone Was Drunk...
Lady GaGa 'Just Dance'
Wish I could shut my playboy mouth, oh oh oh-oh
How'd I turn my shirt inside out? Inside outright
Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say
And we're all getting hosed tonight, oh oh oh-oh

Jamie Foxx 'Blame it (on the Alcohol)'
Blame it on the goose Got you feeling loose
Blame it on petron Got you in the zone
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol

I don't know about you, but whenever I've been drunk I've never discovered that my shirt was inside out. And whenever anyone does make an ass out of themselves from drinking too much, I don't blame the goose or the patron. I blame it on the idiot that can't handle their alcohol.

So there you have it, the men bashing, random, sexy, rockin', alcoholic, lyrics of our era. What is this world coming to?

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Now This is What I Call Fine Dining

We've all been through this experience. Just think about it. It's a Saturday night and you and your special someone have planned a romantic dinner someplace nice. The two of you get dressed in your best attire with high hopes of wooing each other across the candlelit table.

Once the two of you reach your destination, everything seems so perfect, just like a cliche out of a romance novel. The surroundings seem so elegant, everyone looks fabulous, the meals on the table look like dishes to die for. One word crosses your mind, and that's perfection. Surely nothing would be able to taint this night (knock on wood).

Unfortunately, in some situations there isn't any wood to knock on. As lovely as some of these dinners are, there are still the obnoxious characters that have to be the fly in the oinment of the evening.

Table For Two, Anyone? These characters are the actual hosts of the fine dining experience. No matter how long you've waited in the restaurant, somehow you and your party become the incredible "invisible" people. It's like that episode in Seinfeld where Jerry and friends wait for more than an hour at the Chinese restaurant. In this situation, the evening goes something like this:

At first the man or woman waiting at the front lets the party know the wait time.Typically it runs anywhere from fifteen to forty-five minutes. By the looks of the people scattered around all over the place, that's practical...It does look pretty jam packed. Fifteen minutes go by and people start disappearing; your stomach turns and everyone starts getting anxious. The fourty-five minute mark rolls by and almost everyone is seated but your party. When you finally decide to go up to the host/hostess, they assure you that you'll be seated in another...say...ten minutes. The ten minute mark rolls by, followed by fifteen more minutes, and you notice the crickets get a table before you... When the host is approached again, surprise, surprise, they skipped your name. I could have had a cheaper meal at McDonalds already, damn it!

Child's Play: Oh yes... These little critters... They look so adorable from afar, but once these blonde, blue eyed, little cherubs, start throwing spit balls across the room and banging their juice cups on the table, they don't look so cute anymore. Meanwhile, the parents just sit back and allow their kids to do the Macarena on the table.

Loud Cell Phone People: It's a wonderful feeling when you're getting into that romantic zone with your boyfriend. The two of you are looking into each others eyes,wondering what the other person is thinking. He's holding her hand, and she responds by smiling shyly, when the moment is ruined with: "Yeah, we were going to go to South Beach but Junior threw up in the hotel. That stuff got everywhere! It got on the walls, the sink, the floor, and even in my hair!" Hmm... would it be a good time to say I love you now, Snuggles? Please... For all those cell phone people out there, at least have the common decency to use your "indoor" voice. Frankly, I don't want to hear about who threw up on who, or how your visit went to the gynocologist. Thanks...

The Alcoholics: Sure, I understand that it's the weekend. No one has work for the next couple of days, so most people want to go out with their friends, drink, and have a good time. Can I make a suggestion? If you're a lightweight and have been known for making an ass of yourself after having one too many... GO TO A CLUB! People won't notice! When there's a drunk old dude practicing his golf swings right by your table on Valentine's Day, that is the ultimate mood breaker.

Is Everything Good? Don't get me wrong, great service is a good thing. But there is such a thing as too much service. Being a customer, I go out to eat because: A) I'm hungry, and B) It's a good social setting to kick back and talk. When I'm talking to the people I'm eating with, I don't want to hear "Is everything good?!" every five minutes, particularly when I'm stuffing my face with rib rolls.

Ladies and gentlemen, these are the characters you're bound to come across in the fine dining experience. As much as we hate 'em, we can't get rid of them. So my advice? Just relax, eat, drink, and enjoy the freak show.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Honey, You've Got The Potential!

I just love how every year I hear about these open calls from so called "model" and "talent scouts" on the television or on popular radio shows . Can I tell you from personal experience what these open calls should really be called? One word: SCAM. That's right, any audition that requires a payment to see a "potential" model is called a scam. That's like saying: "Hey! You're really good at playing baseball. You should become a professional baseball player. There's a catch though... You need to cough up thousands of dollars in order to make it big!" Modeling isn't something that can be taught or "helped" into. It's like any other job. Either you have what an agency is looking for, or you just don't. I once fell victim to these scam artists. So I can't help but feel a sense of sympathy for other people that have been brainwashed into believing that this is the way to go.

When I was in high school, I was told by a couple of people that I should be a model (mainly because of my height). However, I knew deep down inside my heart, I wasn't "model material". Not as of then anyway. In the modeling industry, you either fall in the skinny category or the plus size category. Needless to say, I was just getting over my awkward stage from middle school, and I was neither A nor B. I wasn't terribly hopeless, but let's just put it this way, I would be one of the last girls to get a date for prom (which was true. My prom date was my best friend at the time. I like to call her "Matrix"). I did have hopes of one day becoming one of these gorgeous women I saw in the magazines and in runway shows. So I thought I would finally have my opportunity, when I heard of a little event called Model Search America mentioned on a radio show in Miami, Y100.

When I went to this event, we had to do a mini interview with one of the scouts (which I thought I screwed up on). He asked me one simple question: "What grade are you in?" And I was so nervous and awkward, I responded with: "first". (I was in 10th grade at the time). After that horrible display, I was about ready to throw in the towel, when he called my number to stay in the room. I was absolutely thrilled! But as I watched the other people who left the room, I noticed that a bunch of other questionable characters stayed behind. Only about ten people left. It didn't matter; I still considered me "special" at the moment. When the rest of us stayed behind, we heard the usual speech, and usual tag lines for all of these scam agencies:

  • "The reason all of you are sitting here today is because we see potential in every single one of you".

  • "Thousands of models have been discovered by our agency."

  • "In order to advance in this career, you don't need a portfolio or to pay a cent."

  • "But in order to meet the different agencies, you will need to pay $600 to advance. And don't forget to bring pictures to show them! It doesn't have to be professional, just three regular Kodak pictures will do."

Does this sound familiar to anyone? For anyone who has fallen victim to these scams, I'm sure you've heard this dozens of times. To sum up my story, I basically attended the second conference in Orlando for the cost of $600 (not including the hotel, the gas, the food, and other essentials). Let me just say, it wasn't worth it. I went to this thing, did my little strut on the runway, only to see thirty something "so called" agents bored out of their mind, drinking their coffee, making paper planes, and looking at everything but the stage. And then when it was time to walk around the room and show the agents these pictures, none of them looked up for anyone. That was the biggest waste of $600 I could spend.

A little later on in my life, I've come across other scam agencies that I've attended or tried out online, but never once paid a cent (after learning my lesson the first time). Some of these agencies include:

  • Once Source Talent: I think these people are worse than Model Search America from what I've read and heard. I didn't stay in there long enough to find out. Again, a scout contacted me on Myspace and said that there was an open call in downtown Miami, and she "thought" that I might be what they were looking for. Just grinning from ear to ear, I agreed to go. What would it hurt? I didn't have anything to do that day anyway. As usual, it was the whole Model Search experience all over again. Again, there were a bunch of people cramped in one room, one by one we were called for an interview, and again I was selected to stay behind. While I was looking at all of these bright eyed faces in the room, I couldn't help but laugh to myself and say: "this is total bull****". The lady of course said this agency was the best (that's funny... Model Search America claimed they were the best). And then the big joke was in the room..." You won't have to pay a cent when you are with this agency, but you will have to pay $400 for your test shots. You'll pay thousands of dollars elsewhere. By the way, all of you have potential of becoming a model." That last word killed the deal right there, and I wasn't bought for a second (not that I ever was). So, everyone was setting up appointment dates for the following day, and the woman kept hastling me: "So you'll come with the $400 tomorrow, right?" I just nodded and smiled and never showed my face there again. When I didn't show up for my "meeting", they kept trying to reach me over and over again, leaving me nasty voicemails and e-mails for two weeks to top that off! When I finally responded to one of their e-mails saying: "I'm broke", I never heard from them again. I wonder why?

  • I was on this site for a while. I didn't realize in order to get e-mail I had to pay cash, yet again. Needless to say, my face is still on this site lingering, but till this day I still can't check my e-mail. I don't have much to say about this site from personal experience, but I can say that my friend spent over $40 a month on this site and always had problems with it and every once in a blue moon would get audition notices that never pulled through or cancelled at the last second.

  • John Casablanca Model & Talent Agency: This is the same deal as One Source Talent and Model search America. They make hopeful individuals believe they have the potential of being a model or actor and end up giving you the same spiel about how they're the best. However, their tactic is a bit different. Instead of saying: "You don't have to pay a cent! Just for this and that..." they'll say "You know...You do have the potential of being a model, but you could use some work. So pay $2,000 and we'll get you a job when you graduate." No thanks, I'll just stick to a real degree from a real University, rather than some teeny bopper club with dozens of hopeful little girls and boys having their dreams crushed by their graduation day...

Stay away from the bogus scams. If modeling is a career you feel like pursuing, do it the old fashion way and join a legit agency. Don't let anyone contradict themselves and say you don't have to pay a cent for the agency, meanwhile, they're running up a tab for invisible fees. The truth is, yes, to be a professional model, you will have to throw some money out there for comp cards and professional pictures. It's the resume of the modeling business. But don't throw your money away to these agencies trying to "take you a step further" into La La Land.

So the moral of the story? Whenever you hear one of these scammers on the radio or tv, just say to yourself : "These guys can potentially put quite the damper on my bank account".

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Never-Ending Villain of Horror Movie Sequels

Before I start bashing these horror sequels, let me first start off by saying that this genre is by far my favorite. I grew up watching good ol' Freddy, Michael Myers, and the infamous Chucky. There was something appealing about a psychopathic, red-haired, freckled, blue eyed, Good Guy doll trying to take over little kids souls.

What is remarkable about these horror sequels from the past is that they make the unreal or impossible seem real. For example, we have our share of psychos and killer sharks, but the chances of getting attacked by one? Highly unlikely. But thanks to movies like these, we still feel the urge to turn a light on in the middle of the night and splash around like a wounded fish whenever we see a foreign object in the ocean.

Is it just me, or does the magic sort of die when these creatures keep coming back from the grave? I know after a while I stopped checking under the bed and stopped checking the closets because I figured if I ever caught and killed one of these monsters, they'll come back anyway. I might as well coexist with them rather than piss them off and have them track me down with a missing head or limb.

After a while with all of these sequels, the whole plot behind the original story would have been forgotten by the viewer. One prime example would be my favorite little redheaded basket case, Chucky. The sequels were as follows:

  • Child's Play: Friends think I'm crazy for liking this movie, but I can't help it. I thought the plot was outrageously unique. How many Good Guy dolls out there are possessed by a serial killer's spirit? Hmm? And how many killer toy stories were inspired by this concept?

  • Child's Play 2: OK, so Chucky comes back AGAIN after being fried to a crisp and having his head and limbs shot off. In this movie, his one purpose is to track down the little boy from the previous movie, Andy, and take over his soul (the deal was, in order for him to get out of the doll's body, he would have to transfer his soul into the body of the first person he told his identity to, which happened to be this six year old boy). Chucky tracks him down and surprise, he dies again in a pool of hot wax.

You know what? From this point on, I'll spare you the cheesiness. In the following sequels, Chucky comes back three times. In the third movie, Chucky plays Rambo. In the fourth movie he gets married, and in the fifth movie he has a hermaphrodite child. Can I just stop there and say: "What?!"

As much as I love the little Good Guy, I wish directors would just let him and other artistic aspects of the horror movie sequel rest in peace.