Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Addiction Must Go

What is an addiction? A source that ruins the lives of family, friends, and loved ones? Or can an addiction be an overwhelming nuiscance that drives people into the brink of insanity? Well, from my experience, addictions just have one definition- a PAIN IN THE ASS. I understand we have our little hobbies, and interests, but one thing I have an absolute hard time swallowing is when people are so addicted to their hobbies, they can't focus on simple conversation. From my previous post, I've already mentioned my hatred towards internet social networks. Don't get me wrong, like I mentioned before, small dosages of this is okie dokey with me, but when it comes to the point where people are checking their myspace and facebook every five seconds just to see what Big Bill is doing, I would consider that a serious annoyance. However, there are other addictions in the online community that I'm not so fond of.

For all those community gamers out there, I know this new game trend will ring a bell: World of Warcraft. Yes girls, I know half of the girlfriends out there know the frustration of this game. My boyfriend has been a serious World of Warcraft gamer for years now. I love this man to death, but oh my God, I feel as if I'm the "other woman" in this relationship sometimes. I'm a girl, so I love the whole romance idea. Any time we're in that "romance zone", it's a great experience. I cherish every moment we spend together. However, there are moments when he darts out of the "cuddling" zone and runs to the computer. Here's a reenactment between myself and Snuggles (yes, we have over the top adorable pet names for each other and I don't care!):

Snuggles: (Has a worried look on his face, looking around for his socks)
Jade: Come back to bed and hold me for a few minutes.
Snuggles: I can't! Don't you understand? There's going to be a raid in fifteen minutes.
Jade: Aren't there other raids besides that one?
Snuggles: No I need this one. I need so many points to get new armor.
Jade: Screw the armor! What about me?
Snuggles: I can't... I have to go...
Jade: So soon?
Snuggles: Yes... I'll come back and check on you after we're done.
Jade: Snuggles...?
Snuggles: I'm sorry... (walks out the room)
Jade: SNUGGLES!!!!

And with that... I was left alone due to the new love in his life... Alone and replaced... By a box with mystical creatures going to war with each other.
Stop Ruining MY Food
Do you ever have that one friend or person in your life that is in love with working out? Well, if you don't, you're not missing out on that experience! I have this one friend that is obsessed with dieting and working out. There's absolutely nothing wrong with dieting and working out, I'm doing it... But I don't have a sign hanging from my neck saying "I'M ON A DIET, SO DON'T EAT IN FRONT OF ME!"
My boyfriend and his friends threw my friend a big birthday bash with -yes- food. Very sweet, wouldn't you say? Well, the birthday party didn't go as expected. Her addiction got the best of her before the party even started with her looking in the mirror and screaming and lifting up her shirt. Again, I'll perform another reenactment with my friend "Matrix" (We'll just leave it at that nickname.)

Matrix: Damn it JADE! I look fat.
Jade: What the hell are you talking about? Your stomach is flat!
Matrix: No it's not... I look preggers! (slaps her nonexistant stomach)
Jade: You look fine...
Matrix: See! I knew it... I look okay but not good!
Jade: You do! You look great, fine, gorgeous, whatever.
Matrix: You're just saying that because it's my birthday.
Jade: No I'm just saying that because I wanna get out of the damn house and eat already.

Meanwhile, she made us even more late because we had to make a pit stop at Publix to check her weight on the scale (which she did three times a day). To make matters worse, we came to the house filled with delicious food, and I had to hear her ramble on and on about how eating a bunch of calories late at night wasn't good for us. Well, that wouldn't have been a problem if she didn't make us late with her previous temper tantrum. Needless to say, I didn't let the late night calorie overdose and cranky birthday girl ruin the night.
Sorry Ma'am, Your Card Has Been DECLINED
Have you ever looked around the house and wondered: "What the hell is this?" Well, that's my life every single day. It seems as though every moment I open my eyes, there's a new product in my house that will never be used. My Mom has this addiction of buying and collecting useless crap. She says she absolutely LOVES candles. The funny thing about this is that we don't have a single candle laying around the house (minus one or two). Stashed away in the "mystery cabinet" are shelves full of candles and candle holders that we never see until a hurricane hits or we have a major blackout. Besides that, those candles serve no other purpose other than antique dust collectors. It doesn't stop with the candles, oh no. Here is a list of junk that my Mom had bought and MAXed out her credit card with.

  • Towels

  • Pillows

  • Scrubbing Bubbles (Ok... With scrubbing bubbles, we only need one in the house. We've had the same can of scrubbing bubbles for a year and yet, we have 80 cans of scrubbing bubbles)

  • Clearance DVDs from Walmart (crappy movies that she has never watched in her life)

  • Books with the name "Jade" in it... Whether it's the title or author (Mom, I get it... My name is Jade... You love me and love the name obviously... But that doesn't make the book good.)

  • A collection of makeup (she NEVER wears makeup...But that's ok, I make some use of it!)

  • Baby Powder

  • Baby Oil (We have six bottles of baby oil...Why? I haven't the slightest clue...)

  • Magazines (Again, she never reads them. My dad just ends up throwing them out after a week)

  • Tuna ( Again.... We have a cabinet full of tuna... Who the hell eats that much tuna??)

  • As Seen On TV stuff (The ShamWow, for example. It really doesn't make me say "wow" everytime...I use it and say "Ok...I could have had this much fun with a regular paper towel.)